The beginning of the end. My last semester at FSU. What will I do after this? Well I have a specific idea. But who knows if it will really happen, aka if I get accepted.
I'm taking Yoga, Contemporary Dance, Public Speaking, and Microeconomics my last semester. And I'm loving it. Even though this is only my second week so I can't really say I've really been stressed. But yoga is actually quite challenging and Contemporary Dance makes me sweat a bit.
This last weekend made me pretty thoughtful about life and the country I'm living in. The shooting in Arizona and on campus has really made me think. And I think it really is time for me to move somewhere else. I think moving to Austria is a good idea. Even if I can't take Kiel with me. It will be nice to live in a country that doesn't constantly sell paranoia to its people. I mean, sure my father is paranoid about me moving to Suedbahnhof....but I practically live in the GHETTO right now. The house down the street from me was robbed at gunpoint. Fucking guns everywhere. In practical children's and psychotics hands. How should I feel safe here? I can't even go for an evening stroll here. I lent my mace to someone because he was having dinner with this sketchy guy and I haven't heard back from him.
But then I listen to The Flaming Lips and I have to remember that I can't fix everything. I can't stop the fact that we are all running towards a completely insignificant death and that there will be absolutely nothing afterward. And I have to accept it. I have to live and realize that I probably will have no impact on the world. I won't be able to stop some psycho from shooting up a grocery store because he watched too much FOX or some college student from accidentally unloading his gun into a girl's chest because he forgot there was a bullet in the chamber.
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